OP4 Rewrite

I may end up eating some of my words by the end of this possibly long entry but so be it. I've had a very interesting time working as part of the Saigoyume Committee.

Yume has gone down the road of fansubbing and after having released a translation of a PV last month, he's released his first dorama. The script has been handled by him and I was drafted in to help with the quality check (QC).

Now in the past I have been critical of some subbers (fan and professional), possibly without fully understanding why I was reaching this conclusion and of the work involved. It's only the first I've been involved in so I expect my thoughts will change again. I'm still in the dark as to some of the processes going on but I at least now have a foundation on which to build on. It is probably best to explain some of this, so as to better inform everyone else.

To me it seemed to be quite guarded and closed up as to how the whole process works, so what I describe may be entirely different to how others operate. I'm willing to bet that what I've been through with Yume on this release is quite removed from a lot of others.

Let me outline a little more on this. I can only really see two phases to this. The first phase of this was for Yume to work on the translation and timing. We looked about for various methods to do this but in the end Yume found a program called Sabbu and used that to time and create the script.

The second phase was the QC which encompassed everything else. I suppose others would break it down further but that's how I've seen our work. I'll be more specific in this part.

The first concern was to ensure what we had was a good translation that would feel natural to an English speaker. Yume did a good job in most cases but there were some lines which were still arranged in a manner more befitting Japanese and others were tougher to translate. For some of these, we just rejigged the sentence around so words appeared at the end and others moved to the start. This meant the sentence was by and large the same but changed to flow. There were times that we were forced to make changes. Some of these were due to timing issues, others were due to words not translating into English easily. What sometimes takes a word in Japanese takes a whole sentence to portray in English. We had to construct sentences that captured the sentiment, that remained true even if it wasn't correct word for word.

I know for sure I've moaned, usually at companies that release anime, that changes have been made that didn't need to. I don't think my mind has changed any on this. Some things should be done for flow and general understanding but there doesn't need to be wholesale changes made to scripts. What would probably help if they released translation notes so we get a better understanding of the decisions they've made and why it was done. I believe this only goes to reflect better on the group translating. You get to see why they made such calls and the fury of not knowing why a change was made can be averted. Rationalising everything and showing the logic behind decisions, it still leaves you open for criticism but it allows for it to be constructive so you know where you made errors or where you could improve to those you are catering for. A lot more on this in another topic.

The second concern we had was checking for spelling and grammar. This is something that is usually rare on tracks by companies but is more common when it comes to fansubbers. It's not something I really concerned myself with too much unless it was really bad and noticeable. When it came to this, we had to become really picky. I ended up going back and looking up as many rules as I could to ensure it was a standard to which I would be happy to release. It may not be perfect down to the smallest rules, but good enough for people to read it and not notice anything unless they sat down with a fine comb.

It's a really gruelling process, especially as we had a 2 hour fansub as our first project (about 5-6 episodes of an anime). There's a lot more text to search and a lot more that can slip unnoticed. Still that was probably due to the way we initially started off with trying to QC. We hadn't a script locked down as a final translation, there were still lines being written and others being retranslated. The other problem may be the familiarity that happens, you sort of learn what is coming so rather than reading properly, you're skimming it. It would probably be best to sort out as much as you can and then give it whole to someone else who has not read it before to go through it in as much detail as possible.


So that's an overview of it all with some discussion mixed in. Quite an untidy piece so far but there are some key points there to take away. Possibly the most important thing to note from all the above is that the two of us had an entirely different focus on what we wanted from the script when we were at the QC process.

Yume can understand Japanese and his aim is to keep everything as close as possible to the original.
I don't understand Japanese and all I want is a script that reads well in English.
He understands my concerns and I understand his intent. Between the two of us during the QC, we tried to obtain a balance between both extremes. No matter how much we nitpick, we'll continuously bring up lines to "debate" and get clarified again and again, it wasn't uncommon for us to go over the same sentence for hours on end. We worked out lines many times over, picking the best bits each time to form new alternatives, before settling on one we both liked.

I'd be willing to say that other fansubbers out there don't really work in this manner. Once they have a translation done, it's pretty much locked down with checks for spelling and grammar rather than how sentences are constructed and fit in. I'm sure there is some work done but mainly by the translator in this respect. In essence, the translation is the final script.

I'm pretty sure Yume will agree that his translation was only a translation, it wasn't the final script despite his constant reworking of lines to fit better. It's probably odd that we consider the process of rewriting and editing as part of the QC process. If anything it's more fitting to be placed in as part of translation. Yet the importance of this aspect is immense as it can really make or break the sub.

To put it simply, the translation is your framework, the QC is where you construct and create. Without a firm frame, you're limited in what you can build and create. You must also not be afraid to remodelled the frame if you find it is not firm; there's no point in plastering over holes.


Well that's probably quite a dense and incomprehensible ramble but that is it straight up. I'd love to see how other people go about this process and how everything integrates. You only need to look at the various sites and the positions they ask for, it all seems very compartmentalised which is conveniant but it doesn't necessarily mean there's a lot of talk across all the positions. It is maybe due to the way that no-one was really willing to divulge how they go about it that led Yume to his methods. It could be inexperience of how we did it but that's something I'll save for another day. For now just an understanding of some of the basics is good, I can go about all the mistakes I've noticed and where I think we went wrong in another entry.

Fairytale of New York

I often worry for the state of humanity and in particular the UK. More and more we seem to copy or be influenced by the USA. I may not openly admit this but there are some good things about them but it's often overshadowed by really silly things that take focus just due to sheer stupidity.

The thing that I've just read now makes me fearful, a big brouhaha over something I love; Christmas. What makes it sillier is it seems to stem from something attributed to Bush (no surprises there then). It's reported that the Christmas cards sent from the White House didn't make any specific reference to Christmas and people have decided to throw a hissy fit over this, despite the same occurance for the past 13 years and various Presidents that have been in office.

For me Christmas time has always been something a bit special. It may be due to the many great and funny memories I have of Christmas or it may be due to something sappier like the whole Christmas spirit and joy we're supposed to experience and embrace. Whatever it is, people seem to be intent on ruining it and diluting the whole season. To the point that people get fed up even before Christmas comes close. Reading something like this only makes your heart sink that there can be so much said about something that seems so minor.

The article makes note of the use of the term "Happy Holidays" but is this really necessary or a step too far towards being overly PC and overcompensating? The term itself is very American and I don't think I've heard people here in the UK use it. The thing is that it just reeks of people with too much free time on their hands.

I'm not Christian and I don't celebrate Christmas because of the birth of Jesus Christ but I do acknowledge it as I acknowledge there are many other celebrations taking place in this season. I could track back and look into why my family started celebrating Christmas but I'm not really sure why. However, we live in a predominatly Christian country where Christmas is one of the biggest celebrations of the year, it's difficult not to notice it or the whole story surrounding it. The thing is my religious belief is not really important here and I don't think anyone else's should be the important point here.

I believe Christmas has taken on a higher consciousness. Far beyond just the birth of Christ. It's now a period of time that gives rise to many celebrations. Be it Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or Festivus. To put that simply, Christmas is a period of time when some faiths have important celebrations and where we generally eat too much turkey and give presents all in the company of family and friends.

It all brings us together to share time with each other and just generally be jolly and merry. That fundamentally is what Christmas is about. The birth of Christ brought together people from all walks of life for what was a momentus event.

Regardless of faith, I'm sure this is a message that everyone can appreciate. Don't fight and struggle over little things, embrace the bigger picture. Don't draw arbitary lines in the snow that mean absolutely nothing. Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays, whatever it doesn't matter. What does is that you are greeting everyone and wishing them all the best in this season of celebration.

Antimatter

Each year we come nearer Christmas and bemoan the lack of snow. We all dream of a White Christmas and it rarely ever happens.

Back when I was younger, snow at Christmas was the norm; making snowmen and snowball fights, the whole shebang. This is not going into a post about global warming or down that line. What I'm more interested in ranting on is how the lack of snow has affected us. Namely, how as soon as there is any chance or hint of snow, we're seeing weather warnings and people abandoning their cars as well as all sense and reason.

In the past few days, we've apparently had a cold snap. Weather colder than the usual expected. I've seen images on the news reports of some of the chaos it's caused. What I'm so unsure of is how we've come to this situation.

We used to have snow, lots of it, inches deep. I never remember seeing or reading or hearing stories the likes of which I have done. Since when did people become such wusses? Has the lack of snow made people weak? What would happen if this becomes the norm once more and we enjoy more snow during the winter months, something more akin to the snowfall of the past?

On top of this, what happened to those knowing how to take part in snowball fights? I remember having to be alert at all times during snow, an attack could happen at any time. You could not trust anyone, from a little kid to an elderly lady with a zimmerframe. Yet when I try now to instigate anything, I get angry shouts and threats of calling the police.

I mean come on people, there is snow all about! What else do you expect to do with snow aside from screaming and abandoning all hope for fear of being snowed in your cars on the way home. Besides snowball fights are a much better way to spend time with the snow.

It seems like only mass hysteria and panic ensue from snow. We need training camps, teaching people how to cope with snow. Lock people up until they are finally indoctrinated and knowing how to cope. If that doesn't work, then snow down the back is our only recourse.

Pink 'Bermuda' Triangle

Having written a few entries which I've aborted, I've finally finished one to a standard I'm happy with.

It's quite odd when writing. Usually when posting on forums and discussion boards, I say that I have a rule to post quickly. If I've not finished a post about 5 minutes after starting, I tend to abort.

Now usually it's quite easy to do this but on longer debates it's quite a bit tougher. So this got me thinking, do I necessarily do this or is it just a fancy statement to throw at someone. The more I thought about it, the more I thought it was ridiculous. So I tested it out to see.

I found that it's about right, my interest in a response wanes after about 5 minutes. The thing is 5 minutes is not exactly five minutes. I guess that makes my statement invalid but there's reason behind the madness.

I guess it's about 5 minutes of inactivity on a response, when you get to a point where you feel like you are making no real headway into your piece. You've spent more time watching TV, listening to a song, talking to someone on some Internet messenger service, or something along those lines.

Before you start, you've usually got an idea and a general gist of what you intend to write even before you hit reply. The moment where a flurry of ideas float around your head. Generally, I write off the top of my head. As I think, I type. It's spontaneous and you never quite know where you are heading. This is probably the worst thing you can do when writing but at the same time best.

If you get stuck, it's probably going to be an abort. If you've planned, you can get by with the structure set in place. However, with the structure it seems as though you're fixed on checkpoints. Less chance of meandering to some other point you hadn't thought of at the time and may not have done had you not gone with the flow.

Maybe I'm going over the top with this, maybe I've meandered too far and ended up making no real sense but heck I know meandering and randomness is brilliant. I was talking about this last weekend to a cousin, how one moment you're discussing what fine waffles a local coffee shop makes, then the next you are discussing the meaning of life. It's this randomness that makes it so, if you have an agenda set you'll not stray.

So what am I trying to say, what point am I trying to make? I'm not really trying to make any point. I'm not trying to say anything much either. All I know is that I've gone on and talked random stuff coming from the top of my head and not dried up for once and gone to play on my Dreamcast. It means I've finally finished a blog entry and not aborted midway, just because I didn't have some set agenda to tackle but felt like expressing crazy disjointed thoughts which seemingly flow.

Well looking at the time, it's taken me about 15 minutes to write this piece. So I guess the 5 minute lark doesn't quite hold up literally. However, I've not really had any inactivity to distract me. It probably helps nothing much is on TV and Pinkerton helps my ramblings along.

So to sum it up. Weezer are super great, there's not much on TV and I'm good at rambling on. In fact, I'm amazing and I rock.

Underground

Thanks to Yume, I became aware of one groups ambition to legalise fansubbing. International Anime Distribution (IAD) opened up their site, blog and forums stating their plans. The forums have had quite a lot of nonsense posted by irate posters who don't get it.

I had a good discussion back on PSOQuest forums a while ago which unfortunately I did not back-up. There were lots of good points made but when it came down to looking at law, it was quite simple. Fansubs are illegal, whether you like it or not, that's the short and tall of it. Since I've not got a copy of all my research, there is a very nice article about it on ANN. I think people see a few facts and misinterpret it or read up on something that doesn't relate entirely and that accounts for the reputation that it falls into a "grey area" which makes fansubbing fine.

With that said, I don't really want to concentrate too much more on the legality of fansubbing. I'll just make doubly sure, it's not legal so there is nothing to discuss. I am more interested in what IAD are attempting and the response that has been giving by some of the posters on the IAD forums.

IAD's plan seems akin to iTunes. With iTunes it was, there's definitely a market for downloading tracks as mp3s or whatnot and there is a userbase that will support a legal method of doing so. IAD see something similar here and are trying to create a market. One thing that iTunes had in its favour was the iPod. You have a product that is generally thought of as a cool and a must-have. Combine that with a method of delivery which seemlessly integates and you have a reason for people to purchase as well as a good way for them to consume.

People will often point to a particular fansub group's work as being superior to the translation done by a company that has licenced it for DVD release. I've said it myself that companies should hire some of the better fansub groups out there to provide subtitles for the anime with their typical care and attention to detail. With that desire to flesh out a whole series and provide cultural and historical notes to allow better understanding and enjoyment rather than altering things to remove such a need.

It's getting licences of anime and then letting fansubbers do their thing as normal, the change coming in that we the viewers will help the fansubbers to pay for the licence. It's a bold step and one which could impact the fansubbing community but there are quite a few obstacles still in its way.

I think the most obvious thing is that it's likely we'll get quality subs we expect which will put some pressure on the major companies subbing and dubbing right now. Ideally it'll push up the quality across the board as each tries to outdo the other.

This is provided that IAD can get fansubbers on side. By and large the fansubbing community is respective of the work of the creators. Once an anime is licenced in the US, groups will usually drop a series. I can see some groups welcome this and look into joining the initiative. The aim of fansubbing is to allow us to see an anime in its original form as the creator intended; to drive anticipation and create a market for the anime.

If viewers are paying, they'll demand scheduled releases as quick as possible. People moan already at the speed of some groups and fansubbers would only be inundated by more people complaining as they would now feel they've invested something into the work. As opposed to the current model where fansubbers only need to answer to themselves as they are the ones investing time and effort. I would imagine this driving some groups insane and not wanting to partake in such a model.

As the scene grows more are drawn to fansubbing however you'll often find groups swarming around certain series. The popular ones can have more groups subbing than you know what to do with. The lesser known titles, well you'll be lucky to find even one group subbing. An obvious benefit of this means that rather than having to find a good company that will continue to sub throughout the lifespan of the series, you'll now only have one. On top of this, more groups will branch out to sub other lesser known titles. A big problem we may have is that a group of lesser quality may end up subbing a series we'd rather a better group did. It happens already, such as 4Kids dubbing One Piece.

The main problem that I see is the price in conjunction with the medium. When buying an anime on DVD you can pay anywhere from £10-20 for a new release. However, it comes on hard media. Paying something similar for a download only may not sit too well with everyone, there's something intangible about actually buying and owning an original output from a company. In addition, if the medium is going to be something like direct downloads or Bit Torrent, it has the very simple and easy possibility of people distributing it without having paid for it initially. It'll be in a ready-to-distribute format with a community that seems to be very divided by it all.

A possible way to build in some robustness to this model is by trying a similar idea out to the music market. Why not take advantage of PSP users? It currently seems to be the vogue thing to have so combining that with the fansubs and you may get a dedicated core of people using it as Apple have managed.

There's definitely some questions that still need sorting and it's still working out fansubbers, series and distribution but it's cetainly a bold step. If it can sort out price and distribution with good quality groups, it could be a great move to see regular releases as well as maybe seeing some of the lesser known series given more priority. However, there is a element of the community there that vehemently opposes this and IAD will need to overcome them by getting on the good side of as many quality subbers and distribution sites as possible. It'll definitely be a struggle.

The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything

So there I was sitting and thinking about the pros and cons of various formations. Is 4-5-1 contributing to bad football matches this season and would changing to the traditional 4-4-2 make any changes? Is the quality of matches really that bad and boring or is the media making stuff up as they don't have anything to write about David Beckham?

Whilst debating this in my mind I came to an epiphany. Why think about 4-5-1 versus 4-4-2 when I could write about it? Why limit it to football formations when I could tackle the some of the toughest questions known to mankind?

Well having had a fair few rants to effectively train me up, I decided to embark on a great adventure, to hopefully provide definitive answers to some of the greatest questions posed by mankind.

The plan is, in addition to my usual rants, to tackle questions and slowly work my way up to tougher, more complex questions.

The first question: Daddy or Chips.

West Slang

So after having been thrown out of a pub for trying to make off with the publicians buxom wench and generally trying to plunder some booty, I'm ready for some more ranting. It all stems from what has been an infuriating few wednesdays but it holds for so much more than just this instance.

Each wednesday for a while, I've sat down to enjoy Lost on Channel 4. Each week I marvel at how a programme that's scheduled for an hour and five minutes can be so messed around.

The first complaint is the general time keeping. It's due to begin at 22:00 but generally starts 4-5 minutes late. Not a huge problem as it gives you a few minutes to get ready when you realise it's hit 22:00.

The main complaint I have is the way ad breaks are scheduled. After watching about nine minutes we get an ad break. Great because after nine minutes, I've lost all concentration and need 5 minutes of adverts to catch my second wind. The wednesday gone was particularly bad, we got an ad break after four minutes. Bloody marvellous.

In total, we have to endure 3 ad breaks in addition to seeing that the programme is sponsored. Surely being sponsored means there can be fewer ad breaks?

It's all become very silly and it only seems to be getting worse. It's getting to a point where our ad breaks will become punctuated by programming rather than programming punctuated by adverts.

We're already seeing the credits of a programme talked over, we also now see the credits forced into a smaller box to let the rest of the screen advertise the programme following as well as anything else they wish.

On top of this we have television channels which brand and show their logo in the top corner. Despite being engrossed in whatever programme I'm watching, I can still remember what channel I am viewing. I don't need the corner of the screen obstructing the show, especially when it blocks up text of said show.

It's all part of the supposed dumbing down of television. There's a case for catering for everyone but you don't need to think that everyone has the attention span of a goldfish and the intelligence to match. Every other show doesn't need to be the clone of some TV reality programme or prying into the private lives of celebrities.

It's a sorry state right now and I for one would like a return to the sensibilities of old.

Avast me hearties 'n' grab ye Jolly Roger

Ahoy me hearties! I be swashbucklin' Buccanner Mad Dog Nat.

Arrr, some o' ye filthly landlubbers may know this day be "International Talk Like A Pirate Day".

Ye ought set sail fer international waters o' Ol' Chum Bucket's and Cap'n Slappy's interweb page fer untold booty to plunder. Ye who be from European seas can plunder Mad Cap'n Tom's interweb.

Ye scurvy dogs beware, keep away from me booty, lest ye be keelhauled.

Little More Than Before [Slip Out]

The hottest news in gaming right now must surely be Nintendo finally unveiling the Revolution controller. If some other topic relating to gaming is currently on top of your agenda, then your agenda needs altering. What follows is largely straight off the top of my head as I think and right about this announcement.

Earlier today Nintendo (NCL) went ahead and showed us what they had been keeping back. Whether they really were scared of people copying their ideas or not, it had created an aura around what exactly they had in store for us. When I read an interview with Yuji Naka a little while back and his reaction to the controller I became very interested in what had been created. He mentioned nothing specific due to a non-disclosure agreement but it was going to match NCL's recent penchant for fresh new ideas to engage old and new gamers alike.

So whilst watching a stream of the press conference, the first real thought I had was just after Iwata referred to the controller as nunchucks (with the analogue plug-in). I thought "controller-chucks, yo" but not much else formed.

After the conference was over I sat back and thought about it all.

What are NCL playing at giving us what is effectively a remote control? How the heck will I be able to play Ocarina of Time on it? Not only that but how would I be able to play A Link to the Past with the four face buttons spread all over?

Well, remote controls are everywhere. You'll have one for your TV, DVD player, VCR, satellite/cable/Freeview, amplifier/stereo system and I'm only thinking of the living room. The controller will look right at home next to your TV remote, it probably looks nicer than any other remote you have.

The controller is another in step in NCL's new thinking of making things simpler for everyone, gamer and non-gamer alike. It has taken the ideas behind the DS and implemented them into a console setting. I'm a big fan of the DS and what NCL have set out to do with the machine. Take a conventional idea/design and tailor it for gaming. The move to the DS is simple as writing and drawing with a pen is so well ingrained into us.

This time round NCL have gone a few steps farther and really worked all aspects. The remote is ingrained into us with so many devices using it. You point at the device and click away. First they've removed the traditional IR and replacing it with an RF sensor, so like the Wavebird you can go into the next room and control the Revolution. They built on this idea by replacing the IR sensor into a motion detector. You can point at the screen and the movements made on the controller translate. Forget other promises, this is true analogue control.

They've thought about the promise of allowing us access to a back catalgoue of games from all generations of NCL consoles. From the outset you can see the NES influence and you have no worries about playing Super Mario Bros but what about those who want to play Super Mario World or even Mario 64?

That's where our plug-ins come in. So the bottom of the controller allows us to plug-in an extension that gives us an analogue stick that looks like the GC one and has two buttons on the top, similar to how we have the Z-button configuration but looking like naturally fitting the grip taken to hold the stick. We're not sure exactly how we'll be able to configure buttons about on the initial controller but it seems as if we may need a few more buttons.

The good news is that it was alluded to that there could be potential for more variations of the plug-in to customise the controller. Who knows we may have replicas of the pads of old which allows us to slot the controller into, we may even get arcade sticks which allows the controller to plug into. This is conservative thinking right now, as the scope is huge for what pads we may see. The possibility is there for games to come out with custom pads should it be required that plug into the controller that builds on top of the existing functionality.

With so much to think about I am still rambling on about possibilities. My mind is still up in the air as to what NCL have actually done and I'll definitely be making more posts about the controller with a more focused set of ideas. Even so I know two things for sure. One is that I absolutely love the scope this pad has and I really wish to try this out as soon as I can.

The second thing I know for sure is that we are truly seeing a revolution from NCL.

Changes

Last week I commented on the slump in cinema receipts. This started turning cogs in my head and as I looked towards the future of home cinema, I thought about a similar situation.

Once upon a time, when I was young and you were younger, coin-ops ruled the video game market. Games would come out in the arcade and you would marvel at them. Some time later you would see a port made to a home console, which was vastly inferior.

I guess it was sometime during the 16-bit era when we first started to see ports of games which were arcade perfect. There was a boost in power in the arcades but with the new consoles, it was diminishing returns in terms of power. We're at a point when current consoles are used as the basis of the new boards.

Home consoles were able to produce experiences that could rival or match the arcade machines. Light guns became common, as did steering wheels. It's not far-fetched to produce one-off peripherals for games. We saw it with Samba de Amigo on the Dreamcast, whereas with the Dance Mat we have seen more than one game take advantage of it. The same can be said of the bongos released with Donkey Konga on the Gamecube and the Eye Toy on the PS2.

Looking at it now, the arcades have definitely taken a back seat to home gaming. We still get the big games released in the arcades but it's definitely left to the biggest games that have traditionally remained draws to the arcade, namely racers, shoot-em-ups and beat-em-ups.

So now we look at the movies. Cinemas have long been the focal point yet we're seeing drops in attendance attributed to DVDs. With DVDs we are now able to experience movies in a way VHS could not manage. It gives us crisp image quality (arguably better than the cinema) and Dolby Surround/DTS sound (not to mention the extra features that are so popular now).

Whilst we've been able to reproduce cinema experiences in the past, technology has caught up and made it a lot easy for anyone to do, argubly easier than recreation of the arcade experience at home.

All TVs are usually showing off the ability to produce Dolby/DTS sound out of the box, negating any extra peripherals. Our TVs are also becoming larger and larger whilst being slim enough to hang on our walls. On top of this we are now on the verge of HDTV taking off and either Blu-Ray or HD-DVD, further pushing the envelope.

Maybe cinema can look at the way the arcade market has sort to distinguish itself aside from the big games. We have cabinets which contain technology that is not currently viable in the home or seek to further enhance the experience. For example, F-Zero makes use of a cabinet that rocks you about as you play. Outrun 2 SP also has a cabinet that reacts to your driving rocking you about.

More cinemas therefore should start to embrace digital projectors. I love the picture that we currently get in cinema and I am a big fan of analogue technologies. However, it may help draw in audiences who are as big on going to the movies. Picture quality would improve and the consistency from cinema to cinema would be constant. It'd be a noticeable and tangible change, bringing it more into line with the clarity offered by DVD.

Aside from the actual movie itself, how about making the seating that more comfortable and luxurious. Why not make sitting in a cinema seat, an armchair away from home?

There's probably a whole lot more similarities here and lessons that could be applied. Who knows the cross over of ideas may work both ways.

Oh, I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay...

Dentists are very purple. The most purple you can get out of all doctor types. You probably have no idea what I am talking about and that will be because you've never seen the Doctor Spectrum.

The Doctor Spectrum is quite a hidden thing and until recently, well I had often dismissed it for myth. Now unless you are in a doctor-type job, you will never see it. When you are sworn in as a doctor and the initiation rituals conducted, you are shown the spectrum and then told the rules of it. The first two rules should be familiar to you all as they were stolen and used in the script of the movie "Fight Club".

Rule 1. You do not talk about the Doctor Spectrum.
Rule 2. You DO NOT talk about the Doctor Spectrum.

Anywho, recently I spoke to a disgruntled doctor who was upset that his girlfriend was the subject of many a joke by colleagues. As you might guess, his girlfriend was a dentist. In order to get his own back, he wanted to break the rules and let this key information be spread about so that he might get his own back.

This doctor was a brave man. He fought tooth and nail to escape and bring to me this spectrum I am about to show you. Alas he was not a smart man as now the whole world will have more ammunition to berate dentists with, his girlfriend included.

It is a spectrum based on the colour spectrum. It categorises doctors on how cool they are in relation to colour. Purple, as we know, is uncool and becomes one extreme of the scale. Red is super cool, and becomes the other extreme.

For the sake of this post (it ruins the format more in its original form), I have simplified it to show some key doctor-types rather than the multitude on the original. I shall go on to sum up the book that accompanies it.

(click on the image to see the full size)

So now you may ask why this is. Why have doctors come to this consensus? In part it is due to laziness on the part of the community of doctors and the time constraints they are placed under.

Basically, the community see dentists as scaremongers who have two main motives. Firstly, they want to try and sell more toothbrushes. Contrary to popular belief, dentists get commission from each brush sold.

On top of this they love gadgets. The more brushes sold, the greater the excuse to produce newer hi-tech ones with bristels running in as many directions as possible on a 180° face. The tongue scraper is the newest fascination. If you continue to buy a new toothbrush every 3 months, well they'll start to become more fancy and incorporate iPods and mobile phones all in one small brush head.

Secondly, and probably more importantly to dentists is that they can practice DIY as they work. You are told whatever it takes for them to get you to drill your teeth.

Dentist: Sir, I need to drill your tooth?
Patient: Why?
Dentist: There is a cavity in it.
Patient: If there is a hole in it, why do you wish to drill more?
Dentist: Erm... your logic has left me no choice. Sir, your tooth is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. It's stiff, bereft of life. It rests in peace. If you hadn't left it in your gum it'd be pushing up the daisies. Its metabolic processes are now history. It's off the twig. It's kicked the bucket, it's shuffled off its mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleeding choir invisibile. This is an ex-tooth.
Patient: ...
Dentist: ...
Patient: Just drill the bloody thing if it'll make you stop quoting Monty Python at me.
Dentist does the happy dance.

So we've established that they are dirty cheaters, it's time to join hands and dismiss some myths.

Myth: Toothbrushes should be changed every three months.

Now it is assumed this is on the recommendation of brushing 2-3 times a day. Don't be a chump. You don't need to brush that many times a day. Brush once a day and extend the life of your toothbrush. You can get away with changing it once every 9 months. Let's face it, brushing at night sorts you out for the time you are asleep, the morning after and the rest of the day.

It's not as if you've eaten a few meals whilst sleeping so there is no real need to brush again but to waste time. All you need to do is buy a box of tic-tacs. Brush at night, then pop a tic-tac or two in the morning.


Myth: You should visit the dentist regularly.

Don't be silly. You should only go when you mouth aches beyond belief. The only reason they want people to go in regular is so that there is a constant supply of victims. It's an excuse to drag you in so that they can pretend they are Laurence Llewelyn Bowen and go to town in your mouth with their drill.

A note to cope with the pain in your mouth, stab your leg or hand. The pain you feel from that should mask the pain in your mouth. Whilst at the hospital a "cool" doctor may be able to prescribe you demerol or morphine or something.


Myth: The nurse is there to assist the dentist.

Well this is true in part. The nurses are there to help alright but not in the way you think. They are part of the smoke and mirrors act.

First, you'll notice the nurse in a short, tight skirt (for females you'll notice tight fitting hotpants on a male nurse). Then you'll get sweet talked by them to make it seem as if they are interested. You'll then notice they are very clumsy, constantly dropping their clipboard. The final act they carry out is to bend over, pushing their buttocks out in your direction mesmerising you. It is at this point the dentist grabs his drill and redecorates your mouth in a art-deco style. Beware.


Well hopefully that dispells some myths and shows dentists in their true light away from the sweet talking they do in front of you.

Ice Hockey Hair

What is up with haircuts?

Today I went to get my hair cut but I noticed an odd thing there during my time.

It seems only natural that the longer your hair gets, the longer it takes in the barbers to have it attended to. I would also think that people with the shortest hair would usually get their head shaved in the quickest amount of time. People with hair length in between would figure somewhere in between the time it takes long/short hair.

So why is it that people who are getting their hair cut really short take just as long, if not longer? Do the barbers feel they need to make up the lack of time spent talking about your next holiday and take longer to cut hair short?

It seems that to be able to get in and out of the barbers in the quickest possible time, you need shortish hair about 3 inches in length, to be able to get in and out within 5-10 minutes.

Unlimited

So yet another summer slump has been reported. Although this time it's a little closer to my heart.

As described in the article on BBC News, the number of people visiting US cinemas during the summer has been the lowest since 1997. Many are saying they would rather watch a movie at home on DVD or TV than going to the cinema.

It is indeed a sad day when this is the concensus although I can understand why.

Cinemas vary in quality. You'll get some great ones in the West End but the further out of London you go, the worse they usually are. Screens aren't as big, seats are broken/ripped, sound and picture quality varies, some of the films you want to see aren't shown, prices can be hefty.

Then comes the actual movie. There will be people who fidget, constantly talk, mobile phones going off, people getting up and going to the toilets at key points and children crying.

Compare this to renting a movie. You get the movie for three days which you can watch when most convenient. You don't have to worry about people talking in the middle, fidgeting, going to the toilet or anything else. It's most likely a family member or friend so you can give them a good whack to sort their act out. Whilst you won't get a huge screen, you will get great quality from a DVD as well as most likely having a good surround system.

On top of this, there is not really a long delay once a movie has premiered. The major movies come out about six months after the cinema release and packed with tons of extras.

In fact it sounds as if there is no redeeming point for going to watch movies in a cinema. Yet there is so much to gain from it which far outweigh the annoyances.

Firstly, the sheer scale of the screen creates more of a spectacle. Whilst some movies work equally well on the small screen, it's always something else seeing it on a large screen. On top of this the sound can be turned upto 11 without the worry of plaster falling of your walls or your neighbours.

Secondly, and more importantly, you aren't going to be able to feel the buzz and hype around movies. One of my best experiences came after catching the midnight premiere of Star Wars Episode II. Whilst the movie may not have been the best, it was an electric atmosphere throughout. People dressed up as characters from the movie, Anthony Daniels (C3PO) coming out to talk before the start (I think Rick McCallum was there also). During the movie we had the audience going crazy at various sequences.

I grant you that this is not the case for every single movie, but there is always some level of buzz generated from everyone waiting for the movie to begin and then when it start, the reactions to scenes. You can get this at home but nowhere near the same scale as in a cinema.

It's been a masterstroke to have invested in a cinema pass. Now I'll go watch any and all movies on the big screen, not only because I can but because despite the minor annoyances (which are sometimes non-existant), you can certaintly have a lot more fun.

Fuhen

When I was in America a few months back I was able to watch TV once or twice. It seems UK TV has taken a lot of inspiration from there. We get ad breaks scheduled every 10-15 minutes now, we have graphics pop-up moments after a show has begun telling us what's next, as well as before and after the ad break and then again when the credits roll. We also get the credits shifted to a small screen in the corner or cut to get more ads and spam for shows about to be broadcasted.

Basically it's a mass of things which just detract. I know what's coming next and if not I'll quickly bring up teletext. I also don't need an ad break every 10 minutes, especially if your show is being sponsored, surely that should mean you can ease up on the breaks.


There is one thing that I would like TV companies to take note of; the treatment of anime.

I'm sure there will be those who disagree and will say the US get a bum deal in regard to anime, however it is none existant on terrestrial TV aside from stuff like Pokemon and our choice on satellite/cable is not much better.

Once upon a time we had shows like Cowboy Bebop, Outlaw Star, Gundam Wing, Tenchi, Nadesico and Evangelion. Now we have Bedamon, Ultimate Muscle and some other random lame stuff.

The channel CNX was one of the best around, it introduced me to Cowboy Bebop (which was uncut/uncensored) and Outlaw Star as well as showing Asian cinema. Sci-Fi had Saiko Exciting, which was wacky and odd but ultimately cool as well as the late night showings of Nadesico and Eva. It showed a random old anime flick each week as well (which they increasingly relied upon).

Then the rot set in. CNX was slowly shunted by Toonami. With nothing new really being shown, Toonami slowly got more and more airtime to the point that the channel was relaunched as Toonami in the Kids section of the TV channel listings. Sci-Fi dropped their anime nights and moved good anime shows into stupid hours each day (5 or 6am).

I haven't seen any anime on the Sci-Fi listings for an age now and I've stopped checking. Toonami isn't any better, despite how it started, just happy to perpetuate the idea of anime being for kids.

If you look at the US and the equivalent, well it's quite shameful. The time slot reserved for Adult Swim shows Cowboy Bebop, Samurai Champloo and other good shows. Shows that would go a long way to catch new fans to the anime scene.

It is some consolation that Rapture is being relaunched in the coming months and they have anime on the schedule in amongst everything else. A channel that may be able the successor to CNX with more variety in shows to keep a constant audience so that it can grow and have a proper chance. Either way, I hope it goes a long way to represent the great anime that is being released and the fanbase as well as making other channels sit up and take note.

Sleepy Head

I'm not a huge fan of the Grand Theft Auto series of games but after the recent brouhaha, it does raise some important issues. Hilary Clinton waded into the whole debate by asking the FTC to look at the rating given to the game (GTA: San Andreas) by the Entertainment Software Rating Board. I think that amongst other things Clinton said this is probably the only thing that had any sort of credibility.

The concern was all down to a recent mod released for the game called "Hot Coffee". Now why is it that this mod caused questioning of the rating given to the game?

In the UK, the game was given an 18 certificate by the British Board of Film Classification. The guidelines set out by the BBFC is quite certain and unambigious. Even without the guidelines, I'm sure most would agree that this is a game for adults and should be given ratings that match that assumption. This also matches the age of majority here in the UK (the age at which one is given the rights and responsibilities of an adult).

Now let's look over at the US, where this storm has raged.

Firstly, I'll concede the age of majority differs from state to state. This could make things more complex than it should be however it should not be a big thing, as I'll explain later.

The rating system for gaming is handled with the ESRB ratings which seems to be based on the MPAA ratings. It seems ambigious as to which section a game would belong. The difference between an M-rating (which the game received) and an AO-rating (Adults Only) doesn't seem as clear cut. The only difference seems to be the period of time an action lasts for.

Now the way it seems, is that regardless of age of majority, the game should have received an AO, due to the content that can be accessed using "Hot Coffee". So that would have meant an AO-rating that states that only persons of 18 or older should be allowed play as opposed to the M-rating which states persons of 17 or older should be allowed to play.

Whilst I'm not going to advocate Rockstar leaving in content that they should have removed, the whole problem could have been avoided had the US rating system been a good one or not one that tends to be a little to relaxed. Merge the ratings for M and AO, make it closer to what an 18-rating is like in the UK. That avoids most of your problems even if a little surprise comes out later on. Or move the M-rating to one that more resembles a 15 but gives enough room for AO to be used more frequently for questionable games.

Either way, the ESRB system needs to be re-evaluated. If we continue to have these types of problems, then it's only going to make the stigma attached to gaming worse. It's bad enough already with politicians and newspapers harping on about it ruining our society or turning people into mindless thugs, we don't need to compound it by making mistakes to give more ammo to the cannon.

Three days later...

I'm going to make a post similar to my last.

Hiroshima has had lots of press but let us not forget Nagasaki either.

Nagasaki suffered an equally tragic fate and we should take a moment to remember again.

Let us forget the controvesy and blame, we cannot change that. Instead let us focus on the lessons we should learn.

Lest we forget

As I begin to write this piece it is a little past the time of one of the gravest moments in our history.

At 08:15 on the 6th August 1945, Hiroshima witnessed a destructive power the likes of which had never been seen before. Three days later Nagasaki would be witness to the horror.
President Truman wrote about the atomic bomb in his diary:

"We have discovered the most terrible bomb in the history of the world. It may be the fire destruction prophesied in the Euphrates Valley Era, after Noah and his fabulous Ark." (1)

Many things have been written concerning whose fault it was, the necessity of dropping the bombs and criticism aimed at various parties for not trying harder with other methods and it'll be a debate that will rage on.

My concern is did we actually learn lessons from the events? And if so, do we still remember?

With all the advances in technology we have had, our destructive power has grown, the world is compact yet there is conflict around. Reading the accounts of the Hibakusha (survivors of the bombings) and then seeing the reality, the difference is astounding. They have seen the effects, they lived through what went on and see the futility yet day in and day out we have some sort of war ongoing.

In school we are taught about the events but I'm not sure the actual impact of it is conveyed. It was not until I decided to read more about the events leading upto the marking of the 60th anniversary of the end of WWII that I learnt about the harrowing events and the extent of damage. More should be made to record the experiences and show them to people that this is what happened. In Japan, survivors go out and talk in schools and speak of what it was like (2). This is not something that should be confined to Japan, every person in every nation should be educated in this manner, so that they can learn and build towards a better future for all.

At the start I had a quote from Truman and his comparison of the bombs to biblical proportions and we have hibakusha talk of it being like a living hell.

The lessons we should learn/have learnt from Hiroshima and Nagasaki is not that we should never use atomic bombs again, it's that we should not take any arms up against others. As long as we do, then we've not learnt anything.


1 http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/4724793.stm
2 http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/4735163.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/in_depth/4729407.stm

In awe

So there I was writing a piece on sequels and then I go and get my hands on a copy of Killer 7. All I can say at this moment in time is WOW.

I'll write something more on this but for the following week, I'll be playing this. This also means a lack of updating but heck games like this don't come around too often.

Best of You

Finally got this finished after working on it for a few weeks. I blame Wimbledon and swiss cheese.


Games that I'm currently playing are a mix of brand new games and sequels. Animal Crossing still holds me as I try and catch all the fish and insects I can this month and just stock up money for the redecorating of my house. I've also been playing Zelda: Ocarina of Time again.

So that's one original game and then a sequel. This made me turn my attentions on Nintendo and the perception of it amongst gamers. Not the regular schmoes who think it's a kid company but those that hold it as a bastion of originality and innovation.

Here we are deriding companies like EA for producing the same shit year-in, year-out yet Nintendo seem exempt from this. Looking back at Nintendo, in amongst some great new games like Donkey Konga we get a sequel in Donkey Konga 2. We get Wario Ware Inc and that's followed by another 3-4 games spread on a variety of Nintendo systems. Animal Crossing is scheduled for a sequel on the DS at the end of the year, we have another Mario Kart, a new Mario game, a new Zelda and well it's just a bunch of sequels that line the release list.

What is it that makes us go ahead and embrace some things and villify others? Also are sequels necessarily bad?

If you distil Zelda you are left with the same sorts of bosses, the same block pushing puzzles, the same enemies, the same weapons, the same of everything really. If you take Mario Kart and distil that, you have a driving game with the same drivers with similar power-ups and weapons. You do the same with Mario and you are left with a fat Italian plumber who should stop eating that many pizzas.

Now take FIFA and each year (or twice a year if the World Cup is about) you have the same football game. Take any one of EA's main franchises and it's a similar story.

Now this idea of trying to distil games to their bare minimum will make any game seem the same. However we need to look at the composition of the game in relation to this.

For FIFA the main new flourishes we get is a list of new licenced songs to play over a new polished interface, with a new roster of players to match the current squads. The gameplay is left more or less in tact with some additional graphical touches and possibly a few more moves which doesn't alter the game in a great way. I think this would be open to criticism as it's not really changing anything and nor is it really building upon the last game(s).

For Zelda, each new iteration usually comes with a certain dynamic to differentiate the game. The key difference. With A Link to the Past, we had Light and Dark worlds; Ocarina of Time had the ability to time travel between a Hyrule of the past and future, split by seven years; Majora's Mask had you controlling time over a 72 hour span and The Wind Waker had you controlling the winds to sail across the sea. This is key to the whole game, with puzzles oft making use of these abilities.

So that is our main change, you then factor in new moves/items that are added to change up puzzles which may seem similar or vary the way in which you go about combat. Story is also key and can pull you into the game, making you skirt over similarities to see more of it unfold. Part of the similarities is what helps to bring you into the game also; the joy of seeing characters you've met in adventures past.

Maybe a better example to compare this against is the games like Street Fighter, although again you could argue that at times key changes are made to certain dynamics. Additions of specials, groove modes, tech hits. Yet still these games are cherished with each edition due to nuances that exist between each.

I'm not so sure sequels are all that bad. I'm not so sure we should bemoan them as in sequels we can get very original ideas implemented. What we should bemoan is the sequels that are not trying or doing anything different, or are trying to cash-in on the current vogue ideas (Prince of Persia 2 going all angsty and dark).

Maybe the thing we need to look at is the current love of making clones of popular games, without any real thought put in to enhance of change the game, minus more blood/swearwords/nudity in a bid to seem adult.

We're not afraid

After looking around the web, I stumbled across this site: We're Not Afraid. Lots of images from people across the world in defiance of the London bombings.

Of all the images I've seen I think this one summed up my thoughts more than any other.

Oh summer days, come back to me

Why does the summer invariably be a mess of weather.

Now the British weather is suspect at the best of times but we always get the wrong conditions at the wrong times. Why must we get snow two months after Christmas? Why must we get one week of hot weather around the time of Wimbledon and then nothing more?

I know it's still only July and we have another month of summer to follow but why can't we have a good 4-5 week period of weather that whilst not really hot by UK standards is at least consistently warm.

Maybe I should buy a giant magnifying glass and help the weather out a bit?

Nil Desperandum

It's been a while since I last wrote anything and the two or three things I was writing have slowed whilst everything else goes on.

So I had in mind to write something quick and simple to get me back into regular updating. It was going to be written with the Olympic bid in mind but this morning has seen some crazy antics go on in London.

The thing that struck me most is the calm that seemed to exist. People were wondering how they'd get home and if their loved ones were involved but it was not mass hysteria or panic about impending doom. It is, no doubt, a big situation but everyone involved seem to have handled themselves well.

You could attribute the reaction down to a number of things like the bombings we've had to endure here. We're told of stories during WWII when people had to shelter themselves from the bombing and always be alert. We've seen it happened in recent memory with the IRA bombings. We even had a bomb go off a few years back destroying shops, the legacy of which has only recently been rectified.

Maybe it was the inevitability of it, we've heard for a long while that it was a matter of when, not if.

Whatever it may be, it's impressive that we can cope and behave in this manner, without letting fear, uncertainty and doubt plague us. Hopefully, we can go on from this and put this to use in all aspects of our lives.

Summertime

This weekend has been great and this week coming looks like it shall continue. I refer to the weather we've been enjoying of late, hot and sunny.

There are certain things that always help to make you feel summer is finally here. More than the hot weather, more than the monsoons, more than the countless movies of comic book adaptations and more than running about naked. For me I find the start of Wimbledon as heralding in summer.

The overdosing of tennis we all have during these two weeks is astonishing. People who never knew the sport existed become pundits for these two weeks each year. The BBC show us comprehensive coverage. We see John McEnroe and Boris Becker recalling past stories, Sue Barker flirt with some of the Andy Roddick et al and countless reminders to hit the red button and choose from a selection of matches. Then we get the hope of Henman winning the tournament, only to be knocked out in a surprise result.

So what have I spent my time doing? I enjoyed the sun as much as I could and the fine weather. The British weather gives us a week where we can sit and enjoy the tennis, eat strawberries with cream and go burn food over a fire. It then decides to spite us and give us raining periods and cold days which wouldn't look out of place in the winter (only we get these types of days more often in winter than we do days of snow).

With the forecast telling us we have a week of good weather coming, go make the most of it. It could be our one and only chance to wear the countless pair of shorts and flowery shirts we buy in hopes we get days we can wear them without being ridiculed.

This week I have been mostly...

been driven insane by Animal Crossing.

After taking a long while away from the game, I got back into it. A charming and wonderful game where you idle time away doing nothing much but fish, garden and try catching insects. It's been infuriating as I've tried to obtain the Golden Axe (which I was close to doing before I left it) and this requires you to be meticulous for 15 days making sure trees you've planted don't die, no trash is left in town and weeds don't overrun.

Strangely enjoying this, my mind turns to the DS version of Animal Crossing. This will be an online game where we can share towns with others (quite how this works I am not sure) but it sure is intriguing having 2 others in town with you. We'll have those who love gardening, others who enjoy fishing and others who want to just run about trying to hit on NPCs but all within the same town interacting and making friends. I cannot wait, it's what AC was requiring all along and another feather in NCL's DS hat.

Capturing the imagination

A few weeks back I noted on aesthetics and I made passing references to the PSP and the DS. I've long stayed in touch which this particular issue. For me handheld gaming has long been a great idea but it's not always lived up to what I imagined.

I own a few Game Boys and I've gone and played some of the bigger games but it's usually tended to be at home and not out and about which is what handheld gaming should be about. As handheld as they are, they don't seem to be so portable or playable when out. With E3 though, I noticed a few announcements which really caught my imagination.

Nintendo announced that they would be taking the DS online, playable against others across the world. Imagine yourself on the bus, you load up your DS, stick Mario Kart DS on and then participate for 10 minutes in a tournament against a Japanese businessman on his way home from work, an American lady winding down after a night out and someone else on the second deck of the bus you are on. This is gaming on the go as I've seen it. Playing with or against random people, without the need to use link cables nor bound by distances between you.

Nintendo also state they have a new version of the DS in the works, to refine it's look (I guess in direct response to the way the PSP looks, on which I'll talk about later) and a new version of the GBA, the GBA Micro.

The Micro really looks the business, it's tiny but playable and it's the sort of thing you could fit into any pocket. Granted it's got no wifi abilities to play online against others but it allows you to take your copy of Zelda and play on the go when you have a spare moment without worrying that you've no space to carry it.

So as I said, we have two announcements (well three but a redesigned DS is not really one of my main concerns at this juncture) that really caught my imagination. This is how I saw handheld gaming, we have two consoles which will be handy in different situations. One to take out and about with you to enjoy online with others, in addition to a control system which continues to innovate and show real progression in gaming. Another to take out with you when you are short of space to continue your gaming. So what is it about this that leaves me cold?

Both announcements came from one company, Nintendo. Nintendo seem to be the ones wanting to innovate and move the handheld area further, to cater for differing situations and needs. Sony on the other hand have not mentioned anything on this. Prior to launch they made a big song and dance about MP3 playing capabilities and movies you can watch. Great! I can spend £20 on a UMD of a movie I own and squint at it on a PSP. So what about the games or the innovations I can expect?

I have heard nothing, it's left to "hackers" to open up the system to some interesting ends but again nothing groundbreakingly different to anything that wouldn't be able to be done on the DS.

Regardless, Sony's PSP seems to be the must own thing of 2005. It looks sleek and stylish but it's rather souless. Nintendo could be readressing the balance but I'm not sure it'd make a difference. I feel that Sony have a certain cachet that holds amongst the "kidz".

It's a shame as it would force Sony into new ideas but they don't seem to be bothered about it in a way Nintendo seems to be. That might be due to the position Nintendo is in the market but they've tried to innovate constantly as well as produce great games. Sony on the other hand seemed to have taken the approach that if they make a console that looks nice and forget about anything else, it will all work out fine because the wider press will be orgasming on the MP3 and movie capabilities and the specialist press will be ignored highlighting Nintendo's ideas on moving handheld gaming forward.

Nintendo have made a console that really has moved gaming forward. If I give someone Ridge Racer and a PSP they will maybe say how nice it looks before going back to whatever they were doing. I give the same person a DS with Wario Ware and they'll be hooked blowing a car out of harms way, frantically unrolling a roll of toilet paper before the timer ends or slicing a pizza in half.

Nintendo have a system that is capable of bringing gamers and non-gamers together to play and moving games forward. Sony on the other hand, really need to sort their act out to catch up but the problem is they don't need to bother as everyone is lauding them for making a nice looking system.

Football: a big thumbs up

In my time I've seen lots of odd (and sometimes disturbing) things. Sonic appearing on a Nintendo console, Man-Faye (definitely disturbing) and courtesy of last night, women playing football (kinda odd).

What may be odder is how good it was and how much I enjoyed it. The match that kicked off the BBC's coverage was England vs Finland and what drama it was. A 2-0 English lead that slipped to 2-2 in the 89th minute. There I am sitting thinking, this is just how England always perform in a major championship when up strides Karen Carney to chip the ball home and win the game 3-2.

I found myself cheering and shouting during the game as I did last year during the men's European Championship. I was nervous when Finland pulled one back and we missed a few great chances. I became deflated when Finland equalised and then elated when we scored to win. At the end of the game, I'm left there sitting and admiring a good game of football with my interest peaked for the rest of the Championship and my mind opened to watching more of women's football outside of major tournaments like this.

Another thought on this whole affair. Whilst discussing this, the subject came up of women watching men's football and discussing Beckham's legs or Lampard's arse. We can finally get our own back and enjoy a game as well as the lovely ladies on show, perfect.

Ponderings

If Humpty Dumpty didn't have a great fall, what type of creature would he have hatched?

No One Else

I've developed a love for something that may be considered off. One of those guilty secrets you keep as best as you can such as wearing women's underwear or liking the Playstation (I assure you I don't do either).

No this guilty secret is something that some may consider puerile, however the fact of the matter is, those people are uninitiated.

These past two weeks I have started to grow very fond of a new show on Cartoon Network, the Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi Show. It started with curiosity from loving the Teen Titans theme tune which led to the love of the theme tune of this very show. It then became watching the hyperactive and crazy dealings of the protagonists transfering to the insanity of the cartoon itself. For anyone who has not caught this show, just seeing a quick snippet of the colour and the style of the show will make you dismiss it. You need to sit down and watch it to realise there is something special going on.

I'm not sure what it is, the actual duo's insanity coming through or the silliness of it all but it's got me hooked.

Across the Sea

Finally, got the Star Wars thing published late yesterday (I had it saved as a draft for more days than necessary although another viewing of it made me push through).

Now it'll be back to a regular thing, I've yet to mention finally seeing Ong Bak on the big screen (really something you must do as it comes alive on the grander stage) as well as continue the E3 thoughts I had.

In other news, I've listened to the new Weezer album many, many times now. I love it and possibly my second favourite (Pinkerton being my favourite album by them). Eels were good on Later with Jools Holland, definitely need to get their latest album. Still no Audioslave.

Order 66

Warning the following will contain spoilers so if you've not seen Episode III yet then I'd advise not reading on until you have done so.


So Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith was released on thursday May 19th and with it comes the end of the big screen Star Wars saga. It was a sad moment for sure but it was also joyous, for Lucas has delivered a movie that is in closer keeping with the original trilogy. After two disappointments we have a movie that will be considered a good addition. Whilst the other two did have highlights, overall they didn't hold up. Looking back on them now with the perspective of Sith, they still aren't what we would have wanted but they do make more sense within the story arc. Traits of some characters were warranted due to the story Lucas wanted to tell, even if we don't expect them from that character.

So anyway onto Sith itself (and I'll be defining this mainly by the lightsaber battles). From the very start your senses are dazzled with what is an amazing opening. You see a big space battle as Obi-Wan and Anakin fly through in their spaceship, the camera trailing them, in a shot that reminds me of the fight sequence in the Cowboy Bebop movie, very kinetic. The banter between the two starts here showing the friendship that has now developed between the two, over the roles of Master-Padawan they played in the last movie and it's all the more enjoyable for it. Showing this throughout makes the eventual duel between the two to carry some extra weight.

In an attempt to rescue Palpatine we get the two blazing their lightsabers on droids of all sorts as well as Dooku who meets his demise early on, before a quick encounter with Grievous and a crash landing.

Throughout the movie, we see the continued distrust from the Jedi Council in Anakin yet still wanting him to act as their lapdog, it's this that again counterbalances the scenes with Anakin and Palpatine which are great, especially the opera house sequence. Palpatine begins to play on the visions Anakin has of Padme dying during childbirth. Palpatine continues to confuse Anakin's mind telling the story of the great Sith Lord Darth Plagieus the Wise and how he had the power to save lives (and create life, possibly hinting at Anakin being a creation of a Sith Lord rather than of the Force).

This is about when the lightsaber duels start to go into overdrive.

Obi-Wan having reached Utapau sneaks his way to an area where Grievous has finished a briefing with the Trade Federation leaders. In a cool sequence, Obi-Wan seeing a mass of droids just jumps down with a grin and so starts on the General. In the end it leads to a chase whereby Obi-Wan defeats Grievous with a blaster where he quips something about the blaster being so uncivilised (echoing something mentioned in EpIV).

So that's lightsaber fight 2 out of the way (the first being Dooku versus the two Jedi).

Onto lightsaber duel 3, Mace vs Palpatine. Anakin gets told by Palpatine he is indeed Darth Sidious, he gets all confuzzled and goes to tell Mace. Mace leaves with three other Jedi and confronts Palpatine. The other three Jedi get killed very quickly, leaving Mace and Sidious. The duel is quite deliberate now, more reminscent of two samurai fighting or fencers (quick succession of strikes, then a period of setting the stance again). Anywho after a good duel Anakin arrives at the end of the battle with Mace standing over Palpatine who is now playing possum and begging for help. Seeing the lines blurred between what he thought was the the light side and the dark side, he goes and lops off Mace's arm and Palpatine/Sidious delivers the final blow.

Anakin plegdes his allegiance to Sidious and gets given the name Darth Vader. The first act he is given is to go to the Jedi Temple and destroy the Jedi there. As he marches there with the Clone army, Sidious enacts Order 66: the destruction of all Jedi. We see images of Jedi all over the galaxy being turned on by the Clone armies they were leading. It switches back to the Temple and Anakin. He enters the room where the Council sit to be confronted by the younglings hiding out. One comes up and asks him what they are to do, at which he lights his saber and we get a cut. Very dark scene but great, glad Lucas didn't wimp out of something as it might have affected the rating (granted it's only a 12A).

So onto lightsaber duel 4, Yoda gets back to Courscant after managing to escape Kashyyk meeting Obi-Wan and Bail Organa (who saw part of the Jedi Council massacre). The best bit about the meeting is that it's another nod back to the original trilogy, the blockade runner is retrofitted to look like the 1977 opening sequence.

So the duel, Yoda fights Sidious. Possibly the best bits are either just prior to the fight when Yoda knocks out the two Imperial Guards with a quick Force push and Sidious calls Yoda his "little green friend". Good to see Yoda kicking some arse but bad that he gives it up so easily. I know Yoda's faith was placed wholly in the Force and it had be shattered with the Jedi masscre but still you'd have expected him to at least result in some sort of double knockout, where both limp out.

Well it's not so bad as we get the final lightsaber duel showing what it is all about. Obi-Wan vs Darth Vader (Anakin). Now this is everything we had hoped for and more. The two go at it at a crazy speed with full force. My thoughts after the movie was "how much would it have hurt if either had missed getting their 'saber into position in time". There were great touches all through the fight and the end of it was real sad (I had hoped for more duelling). Obi-Wan's reaction at the end was great showing the anguish of losing a friend/brother after all they had gone through and all that he believed concerning the Prophecy.

Once this concludes we get about 10-15 minutes of tying up ends for Episode IV. We see the birth of the twins. A sequence where we see Darth Vader put together and the spine-tingling moment of his mask going on for the first time. I'm unsure on the whole "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" part, which made me wince.

There is a part where we're shown the construction of the Death Star with Vader, Sidious and a young Moff Tarkin standing (again the ship they're on is retrofitted to original trilogy stylings). We see Captain Antilles receiving the two droids with the condition Threepio's memory is erased.

A sequence before the splitting up of the twins where Yoda mentions to Obi-Wan that Qui-Gon has contacted Yoda and that he has training to do with him. Then we see Leia with Bail Organa and Obi-Wan delivering Luke to Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. It ends on a scene recalling Episode IV with the two looking out on the sunset of Tatooine.

Overall I really enjoyed it, especially the duels and the things which hark back to the original trilogy. There were a few problems with it; the dialogue needs work, Natalie Portman hasn't seemed to have made the leap in this movie that the others seem to have done so (Ewan McGregor and Ian McDiarmid especially stealing the show), the romance again being very lame (thankfully it's kept short) and we see Mr Binks and he's not blown up or killed in some other painful way. He only talks once I believe so that's some consolation but that's still one too many times.

I would have liked to have seen Qui-Gon actually appear in the movie (as shown in the script rather than the movie we see). What better way to show what training to become one with the Force does and tie up Qui-Gon's vanishing death than him being there whilst Yoda pledging to take Qui-Gon as his teacher. It would have been nice to see a little touch with Obi-Wan having a moment with his former Master.

Regardless, Lucas has delivered a movie that is in keeping with the traditions of the original trilogy.

Tomorrow I'll finally finish writing my Star Wars piece. I have most of it done but still trying to condense it down and have more of my say on things.

Trying to finish it has been part of the reason for my not posting anything else, once it's done though I'll go back and finish off what I wanted to say about E3 last week.

Star Wars = time consumer

Star Wars Episode III took all my time yesterday. Watched it twice one an earlish showing and another in the evening.

I'll have my say on it tomorrow in some depth so hopefully most will have seen it and not worry about spoilers. I will say now that I enjoyed it thoroughly.

Aesthetics

I don't think the PSP is as sexy looking as everyone makes it out to be. It looks good but it's not the top looking thing that people make it out to be. What makes it remarkable is that Sony seem not to have a clue in console aesthetics.

I look at the PS2 and think how ugly a system it is. I'm thinking that this was a fluke of design and whomever it was that designed it was fired (out of a large cannon into a large brick wall). What we have seen at E3 this week, well I could never have prepared myself for what Sony unveiled. My two intial thoughts were along the lines that Sony have taken convergence too far. Namely I thought that:

1. Didn't I see a Breville Sandwich Toaster in the Argos catalogue that looks the same
2. George Foreman is going to have the lawyers slap sense into Sony for copying the design of his lean mean grilling machine.

Now when the whole PSP vs DS thing kicked off, the big fuss was about the PSP looking better than the Nintendo DS and that being grounds enough for buying a PSP over the DS. Now people are hypocrits, with the gaming community being particularly bad, especially those that Sony aim at. Despite the Revolution and the Xbox360 looking a whole lot better, no-one will state that they would prefer either of those over the PS3 due to looks alone.

So why do people make a song and dance about such issues as I have done? I'd like to offer the idea that due to the way in which consoles fail to excite, we need something in order to get people and take notice.

I couldn't care less about the processor running at 16 gigaflops or one console having 0.001% less power than the other. At the end of the day, it won't make a difference aside from the schmoes out there who want to eek out the most miniscules of power or the schmoes who have no real clue apart from "ps2 rul3z cus I cun ply war3z". The discerning gamer knows that the current crop of consoles still have potential that's been left untapped (apart from the PS2 that's showing it's age in a big way).

So it's sad seeing consoles being rushed out so early just to get a market foothold in the next generation. Does this mean for the next generation we'll maybe get a console out in under a year due to the market going against the manufacturer?

Arcade Fire

Saw Jools Holland on friday night. Arcade Fire really impressed me out of all the acts there.

Finally bought the album today.

It's fecking tops, go check it out asap.

Advertising gone wrong

So I'm sitting in the cinema watching movie trailers and up pops one for The Island. Images flash past of the players in the movie; Ewan McGregor, Scarlett Johansson, Sean Bean and Michael Clarke Duncan.

So far, so good.

Some more images flash past of high speed chases and thrills and then my heart fills with dread. What could have changed my perception so quickly? Well the movie trailers advertises itself by telling you it's from the director of Pearl Harbour. I thought the whole point of advertising was to sell yourself in the best possible light?

The worth of champions

For readers in the US, I shall be concentrating on football for this entry. That is football, not soccer.

I'll skip the big news of the man who knows nothing about football owning one of the largest football teams in the world (Malcolm Glazer owning 75% of Manchester United) and the beginning of his scheme to ruin the club.

Instead I want to look at the worth of winning competitions.

In the days of old being Champions of Europe or Champions of the World meant something. It meant pride, prestige and honour of knowing you were the best. It meant fame and glory. It meant working harder to defend your title next time out knowing that everyone was now vying for your scalp.

It also meant automatic qualification.

We are now in the position of having to see one team qualify for a competition and another not knowing what will happen.

We have Brazil the Champions of the World*. In 2002 they won the World Cup in Korea and Japan. They beat Germany 2-0 in the final and won for the fifth time, making them the most successful team by far in this competition. Whereas in the past they'd be sitting thinking about defending their title next year, they are sitting thinking about how they could possibly be knocked out of the qualifiers and not make it to Germany where the 2006 finals are being held.

We have Liverpool, in the final of the Champions' League, the most prestigious club competition in Europe. Now in the Premiership they finished fifth. The top four teams in the Premiership qualify for the Champions' League. They are in the position that even if they win the competition they may not be allowed to compete next year and defend their title. They did not finish fourth and UEFA initially said that the English FA would need to decide between Liverpool and the fourth place team, Everton.

Now how the heck could this be allowed?
Team: "Hello, we are the championship winning team."
Big Boss: "Hey congratulations, you won the competition. Thank you for playing and earning us mega-bucks in sponsorship, television and advertising revenues now please fuck off and don't let the door hit you on the way out."

I can understand wanting to put in rules and methods for qualification to make it fairer for all areas. However, allowances need to be made for the Champions regardless of what else has gone on. The rules should cover as many eventualities as possible or have a loose set of principles which when followed can resolve many/any situation. The Champions should have a special place, an exemption as another reward for the toil and effort put in to achieve their position.

*mainly for anyone in the US. Unlike the World Series where a team from the US declares they are World winners, the World Cup actually has teams from all over the globe competing against each other.

The day of rest

After lying in bed for longer than usual you get up and plan for the rest of the day. Now sunday is usually the day you realise that you have homework to do for school tomorrow or you are starting a week of work tomorrow.

It's also the day you are supposed to rest and relax after a week of work and play. So why is it that sundays are often the most boring and wasteful days of the week?

Taking TV for an example. On a saturday evening you get TV channels putting on supposedly the best line-up of shows to entertain us on one of our days off. However, that's also the day you tend to be out enjoy a night on the town. Saturdays are usually the day that Sky Movies likes to show a premiere of some big movie. You then look at the schedules on a sunday and it's punctuated by long spells of crap. Sky Movies don't show premieres on a sunday evening.

I would like to know what the heck is up with this. Surely the better practice would be to move schedules? Put the crap on a day you are going out and the good stuff on the day you'll spend home.

Magical exclusions

Firstly some background information. I pay around £13 a month for a UGC cinema pass. This entitles me to see as many movies as I can fit in. I make liberal use of this and end up watching some £30 worth of movies a month maybe more. All in all it's a great deal and I definitely am glad I took up subscription.

So now why am I telling you this?

Well Star Wars is out next week and I would like to book tickets. I have however been told I am not allowed to book a ticket in advance using my cinema pass. I must turn up on the day and hope they have availability. What the heck is up with that? I pay money in advance each month and now I'm being told that it's not good enough to book advance tickets. I booked tickets in advance to go see Downfall this past week, yet Star Wars is a no-no.

They offered no explanation and in the brief time I had to pursue the matter, I could get no sense from them. I am now prepped to make a big fuss about this it's fecked up beyond belief that they expect me to queue in hope there are tickets left.

I know they'll reap lots of cash from this, not only from those wanting to see the movie but those with passes who book anyway to ensure they don't get left in limbo. Something does need to be done to sort this out as it is taking the mick out of those already paying them per month.

I'll have more to say on this later on once I do get in touch with a manager or some such like.

O.o???

As taken from the PSO: BB website: http://psobb.com/gameinfo/world/team.php

The first result was the joint creation of the two genius scientists Professor Osto Hyle and Professor Jean-Carlo Montague: the Mag. That was only a starting point in their research; they continued their work and began to develop and create things like Androids, and the artificial lifeforms known as Newmans.

So from the way this is worded, Osto and Montague created Newmans. Montague is a Newman. That means Montague created himself?

Manga hair!

I saw an advert on a bus shelter for Garnier Manga.

Garnier the makers of Fructus and other haircare products have decided to cash in on the anime/manga fans out there by promising us hair like our heroes (and villians if you are so inclined). For all you budding Goku fans out there this may sound heaven. For all you budding Jet Black fans, keep trying to stress yourself out, it'll help with hair loss (although I suppose you Jet Black fans could use it to spike out your beard).

Now what I want to know is this: has anyone actually used this super-duper-mega-hyper-special-magical anime hair styling product?

I'm intrigued as to what it is that keeps anime and manga characters hair in place for 26-odd episodes, how it is they can go 15 volumes and not get a hair bent out of shape even when they go to sleep? Could this be the answer to all our problems? A gel that keeps our hair in place no matter what, meaning we can get an extra 5 minutes sleep in the morning? I think I need to conduct some experiments...

I have the power?

Now am I reading too much into this or do I have some powerful readers of this blog?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/4532075.stm

Glad to see someone reporting it, although I could have guessed that the BBC would not let me down.

PSO: BB

Playing PSO: BB has made me realise how much I missed it. It's been like meeting your first true love and falling head over heels in love again.

Scarily I had started to play it offline and enjoy it, something I didn't do as much when I could go online to play (in fact I never played offline when I could as easily go online).

It all seems new and taking a bit to get used to. The KB control ain't bad but I think I need to get my DC-PC converter out so I can use the DC pad, still not used to running about a monster to get to it's blind spot in order to initiate an attack.

I think they said it's about £5.99 a month to play after the beta ends. I'm thinking of going ahead with that and in the process try to get others to continue. It's a great change of pace from FFXI which does seem kinda lame in comparison. This could be the ideal tonic to becoming tired of FFXI, going on to do quests, fishing, ballista and synthing (with the odd bit of levelling as needed).


PSO, I <3 you!

History lessons

I demand that everyone (but mainly those working in video games stores) be given history lessons. All I ask when I go into a shop is that the staff have some knowledge of what they are selling. I'm not asking that they know the in-depth ins and outs of video game history, however I would like some general knowledge. Here is why.


I do not wish to go into a store and wait around 20 minutes for someone to find the games I wish to purchase.

I do not wish to have to explain during that there were consoles and video games that existed before the Playstation.

I do not wish to have to explain what the Master System and Mega Drive are or the market situation they existed within.

I do not wish to have to explain that the cartridge being held up and then pushed into the game box is a Master System cartridge and not a Mega Drive cartridge. Regardless of them fitting into the box, they are not the same.

I do not wish to have to offer to come and look for the cartridge myself.


Surely it's not too much to ask?

VE day

Today is VE day. We should not forget what took place all those years ago and we should learn from it, so as not to repeat those mistakes in future.

News, movies and furore

Movies, I cannot get enough of them. Went to see two today, Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Kingdom of Heaven. I'm not going to review them both but they were very enjoyable.

What I wish to discuss about the movies is the furore that is created around some movies. Namely, I wish to discuss what Kingdom of Heaven dealt with and how it's been reported upon. It's about the Crusades and in our current political climate this is rather a big deal.

Before I went to see it, the only things I had heard about the movie by the media was the fact it is set in the Crusades period and that Christians and Muslims had denounced the movie as being trash that will only spark more misunderstanding. Nothing about the movie itself, about how Orlando Bloom is taking a starring role and whether or not he could carry the movie upon his shoulders. Nothing about how the movie goes and shows that religion is used as a cover to hide or justify some crazy ideas.

I'm not sure when it was but I feel lot of the news that is reported to us has gone from being 'factual entertainment' to 'factual entertainment'. So much so that we have the army taking in cameras wherever they go to show us their "shock and awe" tactics. Who needs Private Ryan when my next door neighbour's son is out there in the thick of battle being captured on film? It's all sensationalism, driven at getting the highest audience possible. That last comment sounds harsh but I don't need to see in-depth play-by-play detail of a war based on false information.

So anyway back onto topic, how does this relate to Kingdom of Heaven? We have the media making much ado about nothing. I've read lots of positive comments from both Christians and Muslims, yet all I ever hear about is how Ridley Scott has received death threats (this report was from Fox News though so take with a truckload of salt).

Nothing about how even-handed a piece of work this is. Why? Good news doesn't sell. Telling people that all sides are shown as being human is such a story that's not news to report. That is to say reporting that both sides in the movie show qualities that are both good and bad, and that many scholars of both sides have advocated the movie won't be considered as news worthy.

Again I'm unsure whether this piece has a focus throughout but news today, by and large, doesn't seem to be news at all. It doesn't seem to be anything that could be considered a news report, just nonsense designed at stirring up the most fuss in order to sell.

Late night rambling

So the second post is here and it's somewhat serious but based in gaming.

It's community that makes an online game rewarding to play. PSO had this in abundance, regardless of what server you were on, which nationality the players were, it always felt like a tight place.

Talking to a friend (Vik, the filthy minded one) earlier about SWG and she stated about the community on there. So much so that with the combat upgrade nonsense that has happened she's gone and created a forum especially for the server to keep in contact now they've moved away from the game for the time being (maybe long term/forever).

This led to talk about EQ2, WoW and then onto FFXI. She commented on all not having this aspect. I cannot vouch for EQ2 or WoW but heck she was totally right about FFXI. You meet some great people on FFXI, I know many whom I shall remain in contact outside of the game but there is definitely no sense of community.

Is this maybe due to the way it seems to be set-up? You play the game and make friends and join a linkshell. You hit level 60 or so and then look for pastures new with a HNMLS forsaking your old linkshell in most cases. It's then a case of kissing enough arse to get what you can before backstabbing someone (maybe not the backstabbing part but it seems to be becoming more of a common thing).

On top of this, every single HNMLS seems to be in competition with everyone else. One monster pop in every 24 hour span whilst it sounds like an event it ends up with people camping, spam botting and worse going for MPKs. It's at the point when no-one cares about anything or anyone else and are levelling BST so they can all MPK each other. Where the feck has common sense gone?

Am I living in a closed world or is this what it is like on every other game? A constant chase for rare items and money forsaking everything else? I'm not sure what point I'm trying to make here or what issues I'm trying to raise, it's far too late/early but what I do know for sure is this:

We are playing a game, games are supposed to be fun. Leave the backstabbing anti-social shit at the door and just get along for the good of all.

The first

And so it begins...

I expect to post lots of random thoughts on here but I have a feeling that it'll turn into a place where I will post lots of nonsense on FFXI or whichever game I happen to be most engrossed in.

We shall see how it goes, hopefully I'll remember to post daily as and when I think of things (I'm expecting no posts for weeks and then a flurry of 5 or 6 in a 2 day period and then back to nothing for weeks).

Right that's that first post out of the way, I shall apologise for the long winded title which may or may not make any sense. Anyways, all that side, I can now start with the randomness from here on out.